What I learned the first week of motherhood.

After nine very long months, I gave birth to my first child Xavier Stephen Morris on Sunday, September 8, 2019, at 7:33 p.m.

The first photo of the three of us taken by Carling Zhou in the hospital!

The first week of motherhood has been raw and it’s been incredible all at the same time. It’s been the hardest thing I’ve ever done yet the best thing Carl (my husband) and I have ever experienced/ could not be happier! Since then, we’ve had ups and downs, we’ve laughed and we’ve cried and I am so in love with my son. After taking time to reflect, I wanted to share what the first week of motherhood was like for me as it has not been all butterflies and rainbows!

The hardest part for me was dealing with the crazy, hormonal emotions that come postpartum. The first day we came home, I was breastfeeding and just crying. Then bottle feeding to supplement because X was borderline jaundice. Don’t worry–he’s ok now! But I 100% felt the “mom guilt” everyone has told me about and that I finally understand. It’s crazy how much you hear about “mom guilt” and you don’t understand it at all until it becomes you. I’ve learned to reassure myself that my body IS doing enough and I shouldn’t feel ANY guilt, this is normal and I am doing a great job!

Having friends who are mothers has helped me immensely. I am so thankful for my friends who have been through those first, tough few weeks and can reassure me that everything will be ok. I have asked them for tips and advice non-stop, I’ve even facetimed them just to cry. Being able to lean on my friends during this time has been much needed and appreciated. Even the friends and family who have been dropping off food and offering to help with anything we need. I truly never realized what a friend might need when having a baby until I had my own.

Since those first few days, each night is getting easier as Carl and I figure out our schedule and baby X’s, what works and what doesn’t. It’s very much trial and error with a lot of patience! Carl and I have been taking turns on night shifts with Xavier and it’s been helping us stay sane during the process. We both can’t be zombies! haha

Xavier and I on day 7 postpartum!

Xavier’s first doctor’s appointment could not have been funnier. Carl and I were exhausted and X peed ALL over me, the table and his clothes AND we forgot wipes! We couldn’t help but laugh so hard, and made sure to pack them for his next appointment!

Carl, Xavier and I at his first doctor’s appointment after he peed everywhere!

I wanted to share all of this with you as I think a lot of social media is only life’s highlights–the happy moments and rarely the tears and emotions behind the first couple of days, weeks and months of being a first-time mother. The emotions are real, they are normal and it’s ok to let them out and know you are not alone. I hope me being open helps at least one of you because my social media and my life aren’t made to look perfect, it’s not perfect and it’s real life and I want to share it all with you. Opening up and sharing my thoughts and feelings with my husband, family and friends have helped me so much. Whatever you may be going through, talk about it! It’s important to let out your feelings and emotions during this huge change in life and be ok with it.

Did you have a similar experience with your first time being a mother? I would love to know in the comments below!

Xx, Tonya Michelle

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Setting up our registry with buybuy BABY!

Carl and I have been waiting for this moment for what seems to be forever. We have always looked around at baby items and hoped and prayed for our day to come soon. Being able to finally set up our registry was a dream come true and honestly, we truly enjoyed it, then we realized how much stuff we had to decide on, haha!

This post is in partnership with buybuy BABY, a brand I love. All opinions here are my own.

We decided to go with buybuy BABY for our registry needs because you can easily make an appointment and meet with one of their registry experts who takes you around the store and gives you detailed information on products you may need and why. Creating a registry can be daunting, and with our first, we didn’t know where to begin. Luckily, buybuy BABY offers many different services and ways to help you get started! Carl and I went into buybuy BABY the first time and utilized their “quick picks” where lists are expertly curated to help you begin building your registry!

The second time we went to buybuy BABY, we met with one of their registry consultants, Jessica, and without her, I think we would have been a little lost on which product to choose over another! Her knowledge and experience truly helped us understand one product over another.

Let’s be honest, It can be overwhelming if it’s your first time and Jessica made us feel at ease and comfortable during the process!

We conquered buybuy BABY in a little over an hour. Everything from pacifiers, teethers, diaper bag (I still need to pick mine out, Carl is already got his, haha) highchairs, strollers (we are going with the Bugaboo Donkey 2), car seats, books and MORE.

It’s easy to follow along with the registry guide, I still have mine to check off items we get and what we will still need in the future!

Easy to follow Registry Guide.

It also really helps to know a friend or two who have made a registry before. Not only can you “copy” items from their registry that they loved, but they can provide you with a referral credit of $25 off an in-store purchase of $100 or more!

Bugaboo Donkey 2 Stroller

buybuy BABY makes creating a registry not only easy but fun too! Carl and I had a great time picking out items we need for our first baby and love how user-friendly the app is to use. We can easily add or remove items to the registry right from our phones! It also tracks who has bought what with the Thank You list tool so you don’t have to try and remember which gifts came from whom!

Warmies Cozy Plush Animals

Some other amazing features you get with registering with buybuy BABY:

  • 15% off your remaining registry items. (Anything that is still left on your registry you will get 15% off of if you purchase.)
  • Balance your registry with items at a variety of prices, so friends, family – even coworkers – can find you the perfect gift.
  • Invite friends and family to suggest products they know you’ll love with our registry recs tool. (No one knows you better than they do).

Whether it’s your first or your third, buybuy BABY is the best place to create your registry. With their price match guarantee, why would you register anywhere else?!

Feel free to check out our registry HERE!

I will be sharing in July which big items we went with, stay tuned! (Stroller is above! Car seat, pack ‘n play, bassinet and more)

If you’re a mom, let me know below what you would recommend as a must have for me! I would appreciate any help and feedback. 🙂

xx, Tonya Michelle

Photography by: Carling Zhou

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